


Here to stay? Here we go.

by istherecolour



Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Kinda angst idk, Love, M/M, Niall Horan - Freeform, OT5 Friendship, Student!Liam, anyway enjoy im tagging too much, dark!zayn, harry and louis r a lil dysfunctional, kinda i mean hes mean but..........., no smut as well oops lol, one direction - Freeform, sorry but theres some liam/nick, why not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-22
Updated: 2016-01-22
Packaged: 2018-05-15 14:42:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5789278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/istherecolour/pseuds/istherecolour
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>“Why do you care so much?” Because you remind me of a model that has the heart of gold and a face made of porcelain. Picture perfect, Liam wants to say but he gets tongued tied. Of course he gets tongue tied and stays quiet. “But…for your information,” he says slowly and in a low voice. “The sea is calming and helps calm anxiety. I like watching it.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I like watching you.” It comes out quickly and unplanned. Liam hates himself. The way Zayn lets his eyes move from the sea and to Liam’s blush stained face was something he never wants to see. But, at least the look Zayn gives him that doesn’t look blank. His lips twitch up for a split second before moving his head away.</em>
</p><p> [Alternatively; Zayn is just trying to be Liam’s type. It doesn’t work out.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Here to stay? Here we go.

**Author's Note:**

> hi hiiiii thank u to anyone who has waited for me to write or update lol anyway heres something ive been writing since im a bit ill i hope u all like this!!!!! make sure to leave feedback :) (my tumblr is kilmerftziam if u want to watch me reblog anime and ziam stuff!)
> 
> title inso: paradise fears and sleeping with sirens x

“ _Lee-yum,_ stop looking so sad and comfort me.” Louis is most definitely an insufferable _bastard_ that Liam wants to throttle today. Louis lays on the sofa with his feet in the air and his head crooked at an awkward angle to try and grab Liam’s attention. Even if they’ve been best friends since Louis had that red jeans and braces phase in his second year of university and Liam – so not rocking – the mop of curls and the freshly pressed to death _Chino_ s, Liam is sure – _so_ sure that he’s a complete and utter _bastard_ when he becomes ‘clingy Louis’ who needs more attention than a new-born baby. This is all Harrys fault. “I know you’re sad about Zayn but, _I’m_ sad about Harry! He won’t reply to my texts. I think he’s actually, proper mad at me.” The small flat reeks of men, probably because Louis doesn’t know how to clean and refuses to clean unless Harry comes over. Which he hasn’t in weeks. Liam sighs heavily.

“Louis, I’m not going to comfort you when I’m in distress myself.” The thick notebook filled with coloured coded notes almost mocks him as it lays disguarded but open on the coffee table. He can’t think his mind is crowded with many thoughts like maybe he should drop out of university and start a folk group in Australia, or why Zayn has this empty look in his eyes every time he walks back from a lecture with that thin leather jacket and those huge _Doc Martins._ He tries to ignore them. Zayn was a bitter-sweet distraction with caramel eyes and a rock hard heart. Liam should be focusing or at least _trying_ too.

“Lee- _yum,_ please just acknowledge me for five minutes. I’ll promise I’ll go and hang out with El after, she always knows how to make me feel better.” _Yeah, in more than one way,_ is what Liam wants to say. No, he should study _but_ Louis won’t stop. He weighs up the pros and cons; acknowledging Louis would be terrible, which means he shouldn’t stay in the flat. That was a con. Which means going to the library by the coffee shop on the beach with Zayn coincidently goes to. Okay, that was a pro. A big, _big_ pro actually.

________

(Liam finds his best jumper and jeans, while ignoring Louis protests on watching _Come dine with me_ and the bribes of Chinese food brought by Niall after he finishes his shift.)

________

The library was run down but had that rustic feel to it. The paint was flaking off every nook and cranny possible, while the door window had cracks in it. Every time Liam comes here, it always reminds him of the simple things in life that he loves. (It reminds him of those silly rom-coms that Harry made Louis and him watch that one time he came over.) It’s so simply beautiful like the way the sky goes pink, lilac and purple in the winter and glows all over the town, how the trees look like something out of _Narnia_ when they’re covered in snow around February and the smell of food drifting around the air.

The shelves in the library hold books as thick as bricks that Liam has never read in his life nor does he plan to read. The lights are terrible and flicker on and off constantly, and the carpet was – once a very, very, _very_ long time ago – a beautiful navy blue that looked like the ocean beneath the night sky but now is covered in stains and gum. Magical. Just as Liam suspects, Zayn is here. Leather jacket hung on the back of those uncomfortable chairs, book open with his pencil-case spilling onto the table and the coffee still piping hot and the steam of it flowing into the air.

‘ _The worst thing would be to stand in the doorway and stare at Zayn awkwardly. Just say something.’_

Liam likes to think (he actually thinks he does this too much) that one of the reasons he talks to Zayn and ends up sounding like a broken record player is because Zayn is so _Goddamn_ beautiful. Appearing with a stack of books from behind the shelves, he walks with determination in those coffee filled eyes, those nimble hands clutching the books as if they were lifesaving and those pouty lips pressed into a natural and relaxed motion. Maybe Liam couldn’t do this. Zayn was clearly a ten; even in grey joggers and that God awful university jumper, while Liam was pushing a six. Even in his best jumper, nicest jeans he would always be a six.

“Hey, uh, Zayn.” His voice comes out wavered and nervous. (Was it bad that Liam thinks that Zayn could sense fear?) “Working hard or hardly working?” it was a joke. A terrible joke that Liam wants Louis to engrave on his grave stone with the exact words ‘ _Liam James Payne. Cause of death; a terrible joke about working.’_  The look Zayn gives him when he sits down and lets the chair slide under the table is the one Liam was giving himself in his mind. The way his face was blank but his eyes saying everything his lips weren’t.

“What are you doing here, Liam?” Zayn questions, “I’m sure you live almost forty five minutes away.” Liam gives an awkward and very much _forced_ laugh.

“I’m, um, working. Like you.” His hand clutches the satchel strap and he mostly jiggles it for a few seconds with an awkward look across his face.

“You’re here because I’m here.” Okay, he’s been caught. If Liam was a F.B.I agent he would have been sacked right now and his brain would be scrambled. Liam really needs to calm down because _wow,_ was it hot in here or was it just the feeling of blood rushing to his face, his eyes widening and his lips twitching.

“Wha – _no._ I – I love this library. It has…cool stuff.” His lying was just as great at Louis terrible lies. “It has, uh, books. And smells…like a pool – which is a good thing.” Zayn doesn’t smile. He doesn’t do anything, he stares at Liam blankly with his eyes not blinking until he finally moves his gaze back to the stack of books. Liam doesn’t expect much less. “Hey, maybe after -,”

“I’m busy. Maybe another time.” Liam thinks, with his throat becoming dry and his face becoming redder. At least there was a ‘ _next time’_ tacked on the end. Better than being bitterly rejected. Oh wait…

________

Two weeks later, when the sky is white and the clouds are looming over the horizon and threatening to pour, Liam sees Zayn. He doesn’t intend to see him, in fact, he’s pretty sure Zayn can’t swim so why the _Hell_ is he sitting on the rocky beach with a hoodie over his wiry frame and his shoes and socks stacked neatly to his side. Is it a terrible idea that Liam stops in the middle of the path with a bagful of food (due to Louis request of Chinese and chips,) and stares at the way Zayn looks at the ocean? Is it bad that Liam wants Zayn to look at him like that? ( _Probably, Liam thinks_.)

He’s already shimming through the gate with the food and carefully making his way down the rocks.

“Bit cold for a swim, yeah?” another terrible joke. That’s always Liam’s opening line; a terrible joke, followed by some stuttering. He takes a seat on the rocks and wonders why Zayn is sitting down on these rocks.

“It’s very much obvious that I can’t swim, Liam. Everyone knows this after that time I drowned and you saved me in our first year.” Liam remembers that. He remembers watching Zayn muck around with a few friends on the side of the pier and how they started getting rough; yelling, shouting and stumbling around. Little did they know how weak the wood is on that pier and how easily it is to break it.

Ant pushed Stan.

Stan stumbled into Zayn.

Zayn stumbled back into the wooden fence and fell straight through as if it was in a movie. Liam has never moved so quick in his life, stripping his clothes, kicking off his shoes and driving into the choppy waves and saving Zayn.

“Well, why are you sitting here then?”

“Why do _you_ care so much?” _Because you remind me of a model that has the heart of gold and a face made of porcelain. Picture perfect,_ Liam wants to say but he gets tongued tied. Of _course_ he gets tongue tied and stays quiet. “But…for your information,” he says slowly and in a low voice. “The sea is calming and helps calm anxiety. I like watching it.”

“I like watching you.” It comes out quickly and unplanned. Liam hates himself. The way Zayn lets his eyes move from the sea and to Liam’s blush stained face was something he never wants to see. But, at least the look Zayn gives him that doesn’t look blank. His lips twitch up for a split second before moving his head away.

“I’ve noticed.” Then it’s an awkward pause with the sound of the ocean smashing against the shore and the smell of seawater pungent in the air. “Do you want my number, Liam?”

“Er yeah – yes.”

(Liam gets Zayns’ number on this beautiful cloudy day when it starts raining slightly and when the wind picks up. Zayn looks like something out of _Palo Alto_ with himself as _April_ and Zayn as _Teddy,_ expect no one is Freddy and Emily. He’s glad about the last thing and leaves Zayn with a coy smile and an implied promise about texting him later on. When he’s walking away, he glances back at Zayn to see if he looked back. He didn’t but that’s okay. Getting his number was a good start.

A very, _very_ good start.)

________

“How do you text someone?” it’s a rather ambiguous question from Liam as he fiddles with his phone as he sits on the other sofa. Liam lies against the sofa with Louis sprawled across it (with no intention to move, mind you) and Niall flopped on the beanbag with a plateful of Chinese food. “Like, what do you say? I don’t think I’ve ever had this problem in my life.”

“You’re a bit terrible at texting, Payne. Makes sense why your havin’ this problem” Niall quips, “ya always use the poo emoji and its annoying when I’m tryna eat me dinner.” Louis agrees and Liam makes a mental note – ‘ _do not text Zayn the poo emoji. Even if it is the funniest emoji, right after the eggplant one.’_

“Okay, but what do I text Zayn?” and like in those movies when the classic sweater vest wearing nerd, (in this case Liam) gets the usual self-important, egoistical jocks number (in this case Zayn) and the two friends of both stop what they’re doing. In this case Louis head whips around so fast, Liam is surprised he doesn’t have whiplash and Niall drops some fried rice on his lap.

“Ya got Maliks number, mate?” Louis has that tone –the tone of voice when he knows something no one else does and smirks at the same time. “’Cause if you did, I’m gonna have to give you that fiver.”

“Oh _feck,_ I owe you a fiver as well, Lou.” Niall hums as he picks the rice from his lap. “Never thought ya had in ya to get his number, mate. Good on ya. S’been a long time comin, init? Malik could do me in the bum any day, lads.” Louis sniggers and Liam groans because he’s friends with two twelve year olds, he swears.

“I don’t need to know about your gay dreams, Niall. I want to know how to text someone who I have been pining over since the start of uni and who has rejected me time over time.” Liam moans. Right, he was being dramatic. Very dramatic now that he thinks about it but he had a reason to; Zayn was the eighteen year old with the caramel skin and deep, dark eyes that flickered over at him. They were the same eyes that stare blankly at him for the last three years and to finally, _finally_ get his number was better than a blessing, it was like finding a pound in your back pocket.

“Well,” Louis sits up. “Text him saying hi, ask how he is and then ask him to rim you. It’s been months since you got a good lay.”

“True!” Niall agrees loudly with that laugh that’s as loud as an ambulance. God, he hates his friends. But he takes Louis’ advice, minus the whole rimming situation.

_To Zayn:_

**_‘Hey! Its liam hope u rmbr me from earlier:P’_ **

He sends it because _hey,_ jokes are great. Maybe not Liam’s one but they’re great.

“I hate you all. Especially you, Louis.” Liam grunts and falls against the sofa. “Mainly Louis. You’re alright, Niall.”

(He gets a pillow right in the face and a loud laugh from Niall. But no texts from Zayn.)

________

Liam doesn’t stop checking his phone for two days. He turns it on, he lets his thumb click the numbers and unlock to see the message delivered and opened. Great. Whether he’s working or if he’s trying to cram for his exams, his eyes float towards his phone as if the screen was going to light up with a text from Zayn which seemed as likely as Liam becoming famous. It seems Liam has once again been fooled (because he remembers giving his number to Nick Grimshaw a third year who did have some interest in him. And his pink lips and how _perfect_ they looked wrapped around his prick.) Maybe Zayn was giving Liam his number to get him off his back? I mean, Liam has been trying to score some sort of date with Zayn since the second year when he finally learned what a brush and the art of gelled hair was and after the whole ‘ _I saved your life’_ thing as well.

‘ _Stupid me,’_ Liam thinks as he walks across campus towards the bus stop ‘ _why would Zayn want to hang out with you when he could be someone else’_ melodramatic Liam was back. And to make it this day worse, the sky for some reason let the sun peak through the mist of clouds. Refreshing as it was, it provided no heat. January was still here. It’s also one of those days where Liam would prefer to be alone and hopefully tucked away in his room with _Netflix_ on repeat and a bowl of cereal on his lap. However, what he doesn’t expect is Zayn leaning against the wall with a pointed look across his face and lips relaxed.

“Y’look like could use some coffee.” Liam stops in his tracks because _really?_ “I know a good place, its proper nice. Smells good and has good muffins. We can go, if you’re down for it.” No, Liam wasn’t _down_ for it. He was actually in the mood to know _why_ he texted Zayn and he doesn’t reply but can invite him out for some _bleeding_ coffee. He doesn’t say that though. Liam being horrible, spiteful or malicious in anyway really wasn’t him.

“I, er, I’m good, thanks though.” He quips and Zayn looks affronted. Only slightly. His brows push together slightly and his mouth twitches downwards. Interesting.

“I don’t believe you.”

“You should,” Liam says. “Plus, I’m more of a tea guy.” Zayn looks like he’s taking a mental note. It goes quiet for a few moments with the only noise being the students walking past and the sound of tyres against the road. “You never texted back.” It comes out small and embarrassed the way Liam says it. He shouldn’t off mentioned it.

‘ _He probably think I’m needy,’_ Liam groans mentally. Really, it shouldn’t be like this. In a parallel universe, Zayn and Liam are moaning, groaning and whining in his bed and trying to be as quiet as possible (which wouldn’t possible because Liam imagines Zayn as a very passionate person in bed.) In a parallel universe, Zayn realises that treating someone like this isn’t very attractive and he was more than likely going to end up alone. But, they’re not those worlds. No, they’re having some sort of stand-off with Zayn against a wall and Liam shuffling his converse against the floor.

“Didn’t I?” Zayn lets out a small laugh. “Sorry.” He’s not really sorry, it’s just something you say in a situation like this where saying anything else or trying to defend yourself would be a terrible idea and saying sorry is better because sorry means that you actually feel some sort or remorse for your actions. Zayn looks like he feels zero remorse. “I’m here now, so it’s not so bad yeah?”

That whole sentence made Liam’s gut twist uncomfortably. ‘ _I’m here now, so it’s not so bad yeah?’_ Maybe Liam is a masochist. Or, maybe he’s plain stupid for putting up with this for three years.

“I’m good, Zayn. Thanks for the offer, though.” Liam leaves abruptly without looking back because looking back implies that he wasn’t finished pining over Zayn. Which he is.

(No, he isn’t. He realises that when Zayn texts him when he’s standing at the bus stop, cold and sad saying ‘ _you looked pretty in the light today.’_ And he starts smiling because _Goddamn,_ Zayn had him on a hook. He swears by it.)

________

That Monday afternoon very slowly turns into Friday night and Liam sits in his room with a bag of crisps and his laptop. This was the life, he thinks as he digs his hand into the bag and shoves as much as he could into his mouth. Who needs love, romance and anything else significantly involving another human when _Walkers_ do party-sized packets? Not him. Liam prefers crisps because even if they _do_ hurt him and apologise as if it was nothing, he shove them into his mouth and let his teeth smash them into little bits until it was nothing but mush. He couldn’t eat Zayn in that sense since it would be cannibalism, so this would have to do.

“You can’t sit around and mope, Li.” Louis was right. Every now and then, Louis would spout some useful advice, “come out with Haz and me. You’ll feel better, I promise.”

“Lou, that’s a very tempting offer,” it’s not like Liam hates going out with Louis and Harry. But, a good fifty percent of the time when they went out –for some reason – the pair would fight until Louis’ red in the face and brimming tears while Harry is being relentless and running his fingers through his head until he’s yanking on it, spitting passive aggressive accusations at him. Niall would have to take Louis back the flat while Liam calms Harry down, by that Harry would a lot of money on cheap drinks at the bar and end up crying the kebab shop about how much he can’t lose Louis. “But I want to watch some telly. Have a good though, yeah?” Louis stares at him. It was a careful look before he sighed and shut the laptop.

“Liam, I wasn’t asking. You’ve been in this room for days. If we go out, maybe you’ll feel better and I’m not asking now get dressed.” He hates Louis. Has Liam mentioned that? That his best friend was sometimes –only sometimes – the bane of his existence.

(So because of this, Liam was forced into a pair of jeans, his best shirt and a pair of boots because Louis threatened to rip his nipples off if he tried to slip on his converse. And they met Harry and Niall in the cab. It could be worse.)

Three hours, two drinks for Liam and a napkin that a poorly written number address to Niall, Liam swears it got worse. The club was one twenty minutes away from campus and alas, it was student night; discount cocktails, discount shots, discount pints. _Everything_ discount. The strobe lighting was terrible, the music was the type you’d hear in a year seven disco but he thinks that didn’t stop everything from dancing violently to it.

“Get s’more drinks down ya, Payne! Ya here to have fun and fun is me middle name!” Niall yells over the music, grabbing Liams neck.

“I thought it was James.” Liam humours and Niall laughs. Really loud in his ear. He was gone, really gone.

“Funny, Payno. C’mon, let’s ‘ave a boogie.” Liam did shake his head. He wasn’t the dancing type, he wasn’t the party type –well, not anymore anyway. He grew out of it when he accidently drank too much on Harrys’ birthday. That didn’t end well. So he doesn’t drink. Niall leaves him after a few moments of consideration with a smile that clearly says ‘ _ya borning feck!’_ and the music changes to something more upbeat. This was Liam’s queue for a cigarette.

(The walk to get to the small patio was long, mainly because of the amount of drunk people that crowded the pathway.)

January was the worst month. It was too cold, and Liam could see his breath and feel his skin being sliced by how cold it was.

“Didn’t think you were the party type.” Of course Zayn is here. Of course he’s right beside Liam dressed like a model with those stupid pouty lips of his. “thought y’stopped drinkin’ at Harrys birthday?”

“Well, it wasn’t my idea.” Liam mumbles back. Zayn doesn’t get the message and Liam doesn’t expect him to. “Louis insisted and you can’t say no to Louis, can you now?” Zayn makes a sound of agreement. _Of course Liam forgets his cigarettes._

“Fuckin’ great.” Liam hisses. Tonight isn’t his night. He doesn’t want to be at a stupid club filled with students overdosing on _God knows_ what and drinking themselves into a hospital bed. He doesn’t want to be outside in a sordid patio that’s filled with stumped out cigarette butts, a few people who look too drunk to function and _Zayn._

“Here,” A cigarette was pushed between his fingers and –wow. Zayn was being nice. He hadn’t rejected Liam yet, or maybe he was and this was his way of doing it. “Got a light as well.” He lit it. They stood in silence. Inhaling. Exhaling.

“Thanks, I suppose.” Liam finally says.

“You suppose? I’m going to humour you, Liam.” There’s something soft about his voice. There’s something soft about him, the way he’s slightly fuzzy with his eyes wide open, lips pouted and having that amused/curious look.

“Don’t humour me if you’re just going to not listen.” It harsh. Liam’s voice is harsh with the way it comes out low, filled with smoke and some anger. He doesn’t look at Zayn because if he does again he might melt and cave in and go back right to square one.

“I always listen to you.” Zayn says.

“Doesn’t seem like it.” Liam quips.

“You’re being rude.”

“I guess you now know how it feels.” It’s quiet. The air is thick and it’s not just because the smoke is lingering slightly and you can see it as clear as day under the lighting outside. Liam inhales and exhales.

“You know, Liam.” Zayn suddenly says. “There are a lot of things that suit you. Being impudent and an utter arsehole isn’t one of those things.” He stubs out his cigarette and leaves. Yeah, Zayn was right. He doesn’t suit being an arsehole.

________

(The weekend feels like a blur. Harry stays over for all it and makes them all breakfast. Monday comes and goes like the wind. Tuesday fades into Wednesday and Wednesday magically disappears until it Friday comes back around. Zayn doesn’t leave a cryptic like message and neither does Liam. It was a long two weeks.)

________

“This is all my fault.” Louis has locked himself in the bathroom. There’s sobbing and Harry looks just as bewildered Liam. February has come around quickly and Liam likes to think that it’s a terrible start to the month with Louis full on crying and Harry tapping gently on the door like a cautious parent and asking Louis if he’s okay (response from Louis: “ _It’s a-a-all my f-f-ault-t.”)_

There’s only been a handful of times where Liam has seen Louis cry; the first time Harry and him had their first fight. The time Lottie was getting bullied at school and Louis felt helpless. When Harry had to go back up to Holmes Chapel to see him sister and mum. It was weird seeing Louis or even hearing him cry.

“Louis, look would just calm down and come out to talk to us, yeah?” Liam reasons. “Maybe we can help.”

“You’re –you’re going to k-k-kill me, _Leeyum.”_ Oh.

“Louis -,”

“I was t-trying to help but – _fuck,_ it was s-s-supposed to work.” What was supposed to work? It must dawn on Harry because his face drops and he mumbles ‘ _shit.’_ What the _Hell_ was going on?

“Harry -,”

“You should sit down for this, Liam.”

________

(Harry explains it all. Louis ends up leaving the bathroom and gives Liam no eye contact. The first -thing he does is grabs his jacket, phone and keys and prays Zayn is at the library.)

_________

“You, are something else.” Zayn is in his usual place with the usual cup of coffee still steaming, his pencil-case spilled open and the clump of books dumped onto the desk. “You –you were trying to be my _type?”_ Zayn doesn’t say anything. He keeps his eyes locked onto the desk. Liam sits opposite him. “You just –you wanted to be my type? And you listened to Louis of all people?”

“Well, when you say it like that, Liam I sound like a right wanker.” Zayn groans. “It’s just, when you saved me when I fell of the pier I kinda – wanted to talk to you. But I bumped into Louis and I don’t know. He said you had a type; bad-boys, the type you wouldn’t bring home to your mum.” Liam drops his head into his hands. Louis heart was in the right place, he just wishes his thoughts were the same. “I didn’t – I went with it because I thought it was a good idea? But then…but then you got upset and Louis told me that he was taking you out and…and I came – for you and you were rude to me but I deserved it but Liam, when I say I like you. I do. That’s me saying it, not…not other me.” The whole thing sounded like Louis.

Weirdly, Liam isn’t mad. Okay, he is a bit…but Zayn likes him back. And the whole point was to get Zayn to like him. The pro’s of this situation is that Zayn is lying his cards flat on the table. The cons are that he’s been lied to for the last two years.

“You’re obviously going to have to give me time.” Liam says and Zayn looks up at him in shock. “Maybe start with a date on Friday?”

“Yes. Of course, just us.” Zayn says and he sounds so _Goddamn_ fond.

(Liam does forgive Louis. And Harry. But, for extra measure he hides his lube and condoms. Just because.)

________

“Babe, please.” Liam is trying to study. _Trying_ being the key word but there was Zayn; naked, right in front of him and semi hard. This studying session wasn’t going well.

“But, _Leeyum,_ I’m bored and you’re my boyfriend and boyfriends aren’t dicks.” Zayn is frustratingly beautiful and Liam is never going to get this chapter colour coded and revised. He guesses that he’ll have to bend Zayn over on the bed instead.

But, he will get back to studying after.


End file.
